A Dexterlicious Review

 

Hello, Hello, Hello!

I’m back… and for once I’ve actually been somewhere, you might have noticed a small timebadger sized hole in your wordpress life? no? well it’s filled again anyway.

A while back I said I was going to do a review of the book I was reading at the time “Double Dexter” by the amazing Jeff Lindsay but instead I think I’m going to give you a review of all the books and the TV series in one go! oh yis, This is happening… and it’s going to happen again and again… If you haven’t read the books then that probably sounds a little creepy but oh well, you’ve read it you can’t un-read it.

So if you weren’t aware, and if you aren’t please actually go shoot yourself… ( Or alternatively don’t, I need the followers and I can’t have you killing yourself off just yet), there is a Book series all with Dexter in title starting with the infamous “Darkly Dreaming Dexter” and which spawned the  TV series called “Dexter” with Michael C. Hall playing our unusual hero. I should probably take a step back, for those of you who just shot yourself you’re probably wondering what Dexter is all about whilst gargling to yourself in pity through a pool of your own blood, Well assuming you’re still capable of coherent thought, read on this is where it gets good.

Dexter Morgan, to the unsuspecting is just a normal boring person working as a blood spatter analyst for Miami-Metro Homicide division. (although that sounds like a cool enough job as it is, it does get better) But this is just a cover for him to disguise himself as human, a veritable Wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing because Dexter is a serial killer… Not just any serial killer, a serial killer with a conscience only hunting his prey if they fit the strict code of “Harry’s Law” even after that he has to go through his ritual preparation making deadly sure he’s right. When the code of Harry is Satisfied whoever he’s hunting ends up in more pieces than they’d prefer to be in and probably more dead than they enjoy being.

Ahh If you hadn’t guessed I absolutely adore the Dexter TV Series and the Books. It’s weirdly funny in sections sometimes unintentionally such as the complete emotionlessness of dexter making him hilariously oblivious at points, as well as hatred you feel towards doakes’ unconventional methods of ousting Dexter’s “Dark Passenger” for all the world to see. With so much going on  you can feel yourself almost screaming at the book when it all becomes too tense, although that’s probably just me. One thing you probably will do is notice Jeff Lindsay’s ridiculous love of alliteration, So much that it’s even in the title’s of his books, Darkly Dreaming Dexter, Dexter is Delicious, Dexter in the dark. Need I go on?

If I can give you one piece of advice I’d tell you to go read these books starting with “Darkly Dreaming Dexter” then after you’ve read the first book move onto the TV series whilst reading the books. There’s 6 Seasons with a 7th coming out in late September… in america, (Guess that means I’ll be watching it online.) so there’s plenty to keep you occupied, or if you can’t be arsed with reading then just watch the first episode of dexter and try not to love it, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker! ah Pulp Fiction, no time for that now, that come’s next time!

So If you’re not in love with the dexter series yet, go forth and watch it or read or both just let it into your life… You’ll thank me for it some day believe me.

Until Next time

Maliciously Yours

-Rory

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Another step towards Imortality

 

Hello, Hello, Hello!

Assuming You all know what Immortality is I’m going to jump right into this and tell you what I’ve found! For those… who are stu-… not aware what Immortality is go check it out on Wikipedia!

Whilst doing my daily lurk through reddit a certain link caught my eye, and the reason it caught my eye was because it said immortality might/will be available by the year 2045, I mean Human Immortality in case you were wondering, I wasn’t talking about the Turritopsis Nutricula or for you who aren’t Marine Bioligist, The “Immortal Jellyfish”. Unless you’re a jellyfish whilst reading this which means good news! You’re both immortal and now apparently sentient! You’ll probably end up as our boneless overlord one day, but not today…

But yes I’m talking about Human Immortality, yet again I must divulge from the point again I don’t mean in the spiritual sense for you religious types. If you’re sitting their going “Dafuq? We’re already Immortal THROUGH THE POWER OF GOD” then shush I’m an Atheist. I’m talking about staying alive,  hypothetically forever through the power of  *drumroll* Avatars!  Yep Holographic or Robotic representations of ourselves powered by our brains!

Dmitry Itskov the Russian Billionaire wants to achieve this with his “2045 program” with his crack team of scientists and with extra funding from his billionaire buddies he intends for the “Avatar A” A robotic copy of a human body remotely controlled via BCI (Brain-Computer interface) to be ready within the next 3-7 years! and then over the following 25-30 years perfect the process with the Avatar B, C and finally D.

Impressive, aye? We could be on the verge of the next step in Human evolution BUT is this a good thing? Let’s Look at the pros and Cons

The Good: No sickness, no ageing, no dying (well that’s obvious, you’d  hope there’d be no dying seeing as this whole bloody post is about immortality) Your avatar could look however you want it to look, maybe even customisable skins like on minecraft, that’d be hilarious, we could travel far off into space or see more of the Earth its self, we’d be able to do all that we would not be able to do in a normal human life time.

However…

The Bad: Only those who could afford it would be able to be immortal which might build a rift between the mortal and the immortal and anyway who says who should be allowed to be immortal, they might be rich but they might have spent their entire life causing misery to other people for monetary gain, would they deserve to achieve immortality if they were just going to continue this? How about if we take this step and we put our brain/personality into an avatar, yes we might look human, but would we still really be human, would we be sacrificing our humanity simply because we’re scared of death?

Whatever the outcome this subject will continually be surrounded by controversy which is why I find it so interesting. Lemme know what you think in the comments, so far I’ve had no comments, I don’t know if you guys are shy or what but the little dark speech bubble up there lets you write a comment, I want to know what you guys think cmon 🙂

anyway until next time

Maliciously yours

-Rory

 

 

Free Games the Reviewening

 

 

Hello, Hello, Hello!

If you’ve been reading my posts, or even if you’ve just read one, then you might have noticed that I like being silly and that I am in fact quite strange. Well, that’s good for today’s review, that’s right… review. not just a common-or-garden post!  today I was going to be telling you about Jeff Lindsay’s “Double Dexter” (If you’ve never heard of it shame on you! go to waterstones about buy it now!)  BUT I haven’t finished reading it yet… Soooo I’m going to be telling you about a few of the game’s I’ve been playing recently, and the best thing is… they’re all FREE! (Yep, such a good thing I put it in caps and Bold, you must really think I was screaming that at you, bet half of you recoiled in horror from the sheer impact that word made, oh yes… oh yes… fear the Bold and caps)

However I should say that had I not distracted myself by playing these games I probably would have finished “Double Dexter” by now… oh well, it’s swings and roundabouts I guess. (for those who don’t know this idiom, I don’t mean actual swings and roundabouts as fun as free as they are, I mean video games, No healthy air outside for me! no, no, no… I’ll stay hunched up in my room over a small screen, breathing in stuff which is barely air while noshing on a sandwich, celebrating every time a bunch of my pixels destroy another bunch of pixels by firing (surprisingly) more pixels into their pixelated faces. but enough about 8-bit gaming, I’ll get to that another day. To the games!

So whilst watching a few of my favourite internet gamers (most notable Nerd Cubed) and searching gaming sites across the web I played some of the games I found and decided to mention the ones I enjoyed here

Now if you weren’t aware (and how could you not be) It’s 2012, which means the Olympics have come to London. (I’ll forgive you if you are A: a child B: Suffering from Amnesia or C: Mentally Incapable of understanding the passage of time or your own existence. However what’s the chances of you reading this then remembering that I forgave you, so I may as well just say Arses to you! You wont remember!)             So in the spirit of the Olympics I bring you QWOP”  A devilishly hard hundred metre sprint simulator of sorts, or in my case and probably very many of your cases a “hundred-metre-dragging-the-runners-testicles-along-the-ground-whilst-doing-a-crab-walk-and-trying-to-avoid-backfliping-onto-the-guys-head” flash game, yes this game is difficult. Oh you’ll start off eager at first, thinking it can’t be that hard to run all you have to do is control his thighs and calves, what could possibly go wrong? the answer, “a lot” however when you get up the rhythm of drag, stop, drag, stop, drag , stop eventually you can get quite far, however I’m not entirely sure this is in the spirit of the game. But oh well, moving on. Next game!

Toribash, no it’s not a misspelt title for a game about giving to David Cameron what he’s got coming to him but instead and I quote “An innovative fighting game based on a physics sandbox” now if you don’t know what that means, then get out… Yes a do it yourself combat game with a free (and small) download which is simple to install and automatically puts a shortcut on your desktop! so when you get to playing it you’ll realise that this one’s quite odd but bizarrely entertaining, you start off and it’s quite frustrating (much like QWOP) but you quickly learn with the aid of a tutorial what to do. Basically you click on your characters different muscle groups by doing this you can make you character move in basically any way you want! and even better, it comes free with literally hundreds of mods Pre installed, fantastic. A simple and ridiculously fun but challenging game.

I realise this is getting a bit long so I’ll make this the last one, (I can sense that by now people might have put their head through their monitor whether from boredom or in a vague attempt at nutting me virtually, I don’t know, maybe there’s other factor’s I’m missing, perhaps you’ve just been bitten by a particularly deadly spider or snake and collapsed into the screen, or maybe you’ve just had an exceptionally delicious piece of Brie realised that eating so much has made you hungry and decided to have a nice, albeit sudden, snooze… we just don’t know.

And so finally I bring you to the  last game I’m going to waft in your general direction like a sneaky fart from across the room, but unlike shit some of you may be hesitant to like it… what on earth am I talking about?

If you didn’t know, I’m took a step closer to the epitome of Geek,as this year I realised I liked Star Trek, I realise some (or a lot) of you might not like Star Trek. But don’t nay say this game until you’ve tried it, I’m talking of course about “Star Trek Online” a game where you get to fly star ships through a very large cyber universe fighting, Borg, Klingon, Romulan, Gorn and many other star trek baddies in space as well as in a third person shooter on the ground, completing missions to gain ranks and eventually get new ships. Now Unlike most MMO’s (did I forget to mention it’s an MMO? oh well it is!) you don’t have to pay to enjoy things, most of the game is unlocked already, you can play all the missions collect hundred if not thousands of items, trade with players upgrade your ship as long as you put the time in you can level up reasonably well, but if you do want to play through quickly and to be honest who would want to? you can buy things through their online store, such as the bridge from the Original star trek for your ship! and some of the fancier looking star ships. However if you want to play this you have to let it download which does take some time, although, it’ worth for a free game it’s truly surprising!

I advise you play all of these games, they’re all really fun ways of consuming lots of time without noticing it, I’ll put the links at the bottom If you do play these as a result of me telling you I’d like to hear what you think of them.

Lieutenant Commander Time Tiberius Badger signing off!

Until Next time

Maliciously Yours

-Rory

QWOP – http://www.foddy.net/Athletics.html

Toribash – http://www.toribash.com/

Star Trek Online – http://sto.perfectworld.com/

Lazy Painting…

Hello, Hello, Hello!

I love art, Might be in fact the reason why I’m currently a student attempting to get a degree in “fine Art”, although with that name its easy for people to miss hear me and think I’m doing finance… A degree I have no interest in because believe it or not I have a life, Might not be much of one but its certainly more than can be said for anybody who counts money for all of their life!

But anyway, if you hadn’t already guessed, I am an artist. or to be precise I’m a painter and a sculptor (Note: sculptor, not sculpture I don’t stand in the centre of a town getting sat on by hundred of pigeons, although it’d certainly be an easy way to catch them, if there’s any tramps reading there you go, easy way to get your next meal!)

So recently I’ve been painting this painting, at least I like to say I’ve been painting it, I’ve been more sitting staring at it, I’ve been looking at it and it’s been looking at me and It knows that I know I want to paint on it but then I raise the paintbrush to the canvas and the motivation is gone, because I’ve been working on this for so long I did the sketch on a piece of a4 paper nearly a month ago sketched it out fully on canvas three weeks ago and since then I’ve been slowly adding to it every now and again when I’m suddenly spurred on out of the blue *cough*when the Internet fails*cough*.

And this got me thinking, when I was at university in my studio I was creating lots of paintings I could create a few paintings a week if I wanted to but a lot of these had barely any detail in compared to this painting, so does that mean I’m getting used to doing simple paintings? getting lazy at paintings or something? or is merely due to the fact that I’m stuck here in Yorkshire in my house unmotivated because I’m bored.

Now, I like art but I have a sort of Post-Modern view of art, Basically for people who don’t know what that means it either means I do things in an old style Ironically or it means that I dislike all this ridiculous bullshit about each individual brush stroke of a painting having meaning… Quite frankly it is a painting, nothing more, nothing less, and I like it this way. Although that doesn’t mean I wont bullshit my way through an assessment pretentiously holding court over the fact that yes it does have meaning when in fact I mean “Yes it has meaning because If I say that You’ll give me a better grade”. Yes I don’t like bullshit but I’ll defend my right to spout bullshit if it gets me through uni!

I don’t know what you think, and by you I mean the collective you of the internet… and not in a hive mind sort of way as cool as that would be! If I had the ability to communicate with everybody at once I’d probably not be here I’d be sneaking next to a weight watchers meeting thinking “Eat Cake!” incessantly and laughing as I watch them sweat… perhaps that cruel but as they say “That’s entertainment!” and it certainly would be for me.

But anyway, Whilst writing that and giggling at the thought of tempting people with cake I actually managed to lose my trail of thought! how professional of me. I think I should probably wind this up now lest I doom myself to be hunted down by a fat, pretentious, artist, hobo with bloodthirsty lust for cake, or worse…

Basically, I’m disappointed with myself for not actually doing art, worried I might be turning into an expressionist and wondering what you guys think about art I’d love to read in the comments about whatever you think, despite this being quite possibly the least coherent thing I’ve written in a while.

Hopefully I’ll have something interesting to talk about next time,

Until then

Maliciously Yours

-Rory

Note the Drawing is the sketch which I have yet to finish the painting of you can find it and some of my other work on my Deviantart page.

Yes to Zombies, No to Umbrellas

Hello, Hello, Hello…

Who doesn’t like zombies? Quite a lot of people I’d imagine but that’s beside the point… I like zombies, they’re good for shooting, slashing and if they do kill you they wont eat your eyes (after all they’re not unreasonable). So You can imagine I’m pretty excited about the next game in the Resident Evil series, Resident Evil 6. Well, if you did imagine that, Well done you’re correct! I am excited.

I’ve been playing Resident Evil for a while despite the fact I was only Three when the first game came out I’ve at least managed to enjoy playing as the Floppy-Haired skinny Gun slinger, Leon Kennedy, whilst saving the preppy President’s daughter, Ashley Graham In Resident Evil 4(Despite as much as I didn’t want to, Boy she was irritating…)  And also as the stupidly, bordering on hilariously, bulked Chris Redfield and (tiny by comparison) Sheva Alomar shooting africans in the face in Resident Evil 5 ( that one made me feel quite racist for a while, but I got over it) Yes I’ve killed my fair share of zombies, And I’m looking forwards to killing even more, but Capcom have announced something rather strange about this game, concerning their Preorder bonus.

Don’t get me wrong I love Preorder Bonus’s, Can’t get enough of them in fact, makes the fact you’ve just payed  for a game which’ll be half the price in a matter of weeks all that much better. But according to the Capcom unity Blog they are giving away an Umbrella corporation umbrella… Don’t get me wrong it’s not the same one you can find in the Capcom Store, this one is bigger, better, and even contains a pouch!

Now, I like to think I’m a pretty decent gamer (at least in the quantity of games I play not necessarily in my ability to play them) but if there’s one thing I know about gamers is we don’t spend extended periods of time outside, let alone when it’s raining, so the idea of bringing out a pre order bonus of an umbrella, when we’ll be spending the next 20+ waking hours inside is ridiculous, I’d rather have an extra game mode or some unique unlocks or a poster or anything else, the only good thing this’ll be for is if there’s an actual zombie apocalypse and it’s used for bashing a zombified postman across the head with. Even then I’d probably find something more suited to the job than a crappy piece of “high quality plastic”.

What I think they should have done for the preorder bonus is made specially customised  Resident Evil Nerf Guns, that way you can reenact  your favourite scenes from the game with your friends, like that time you shot a zombie in the head, or that other time when a zombie was coming towards you and you shot it in the head… or… Well, You get my point.

Tell me in the comments what you think would be good as a pre order

Until next time

Maliciously Yours

– Rory

Yay me! Made a new Blog

Hello, Hello, Hello!

If you hadn’t already guessed, yes I am new here this is my new blog. I used to write blogs on my Deviant art page but I felt like nobody was reading them so low and behold here I am…

Most of the time I’ll be talking about art, gaming and films, sometimes linking them into things I’ve done, hopefully in a sarcastic or pedantic way because just like less than 1% of the world’s population I am British which means being sarcastic and pedantic comes naturally to me.

So, a little about me. I am a student doing Fine art, not your run of the mill regular art, at Sunderland university. and I just spent the last twenty minutes bumbling around my kitchen talking to cupboards trying to find pasta. I wasn’t successful… I have a sandwich instead.

Ahh the ridiculously long summer holidays of being a university student… four months is waayyy too long. This is half what inspired me to make this blog, that and I’m currently in the process of setting up my own youtube channel dealing with similar issues.

Anyways, this feels like a relatively boring blog so I’ll end your misery, that’s if you managed to get this far, seeing as so far its only 213 words long there’s a strong chance you might have put up with me this far. and I’ll end here ’til I have something more interesting to say, also my sandwich is sitting there staring at me going “eat me…. Eaaaatttt meeeee”, Yes I have anthropomorphic sandwiches

Maliciously Yours

-Rory